A COP OUT

Posted March 14, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , ,
Ahh…the parent-teacher conference week.  The meetings that can create stress if you have a child who is struggling in school, or  bring you great joy when you hear that your child is achieving beyond what you thought possible
It feels good to know what is going on in our children’s lives; how they are doing socially and academically.  As we met with our youngest son Cade’s teacher last week, it was clear she was impressed by both his achievements and his thoughtful and sometimes humorous personality.  That just made my heart smile!

Cade’s teacher showed us a collection of his schoolwork that demonstrated how much he has improved this year in reading and handwriting. One of the items we were presented with at the meeting was a picture he drew of what he wanted to be when he grew up. The picture was simple and seemed to be quickly drawn as an afterthought. Mark and I both were surprised though, as it was a picture of a police car and he had written “cop” next to it.  His good buddy had the same interest, so we just figured they wanted to pal together in this venture, or Cade just hadn’t told us his latest career goals for the future!  At seven years old, it changes quite a bit.   I remember wanting to be a “cow” at one point………hmmm, glad that phase didn’t last long!

                                 

Last night the conversation came up at home with my husband Mark and Cade. Mark questioned Cade about his newest desire to be a police officer when he grows up.  Cade innocently replied: “Well, that’s not really what I want to be. I really want to be an artist, but I didn’t know how to draw that”.      Classic Cade response.

So it left me pondering, as those little nuggets of insight my children tend to grant me, how many adults are out there working a job that they really don’t want as their life occupation, but they just don’t know how to metaphorically draw out the picture of their own dreams?

In the last year, both my husband and I have morphed and expanded our careers in different directions. It is simultaneously exhilarating and challenging!   Worries about finances, stability, and routine could have easily prevented us from taking on this new challenge.    However even when the risk seemed high, and with the economy at a new low,  putting all those new colors on our blank canvas has been a way to renew our sense of peace in the creative process.

And a process it is!   We are amatuer artists trying to create a masterpiece.  But as daylight savings rolls around, the days get longer, and the flowers begin their journey through the surface of the once frozen ground, I am hopeful.   We won’t cop out, for our sake, and as a good example for Cade.   We will learn how to draw, even if it means going back to the drawing board several times.

LIFE LESSON?   Be your own famous artist.  Create YOUR life with color, and enjoy each new image that unfolds.

 

Comments: Be the first to comment

WINGS ON THINGS

Posted March 9, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , ,

 

“Wings!  Wings!  Wings!  They are wonderful flying things.  Wings flutter and flap and they make things go. Some go high and some go low.  Some fly fast and some fly slow.  Some wings are red, and some wings are blue.  Wings help you fly, that’s what they do!”

 

Riley used to love the book Wings on Things by Marc Brown when he was little.   Each time I would say “Go pick out a book” his little hands would grab the Wings book and he would crawl up on my lap excited to hear the familiar rhymes.   I read it so many times that I still have most of it memorized to this day.   READ THE REST OF THIS STORY IN MY BI-WEEKLY POST IN MAMALODE MAGAZINE HERE:http://www.mamalode.com/2010/03/tween-chronicles-wings-on-things/

Comments: Be the first to comment

MAGIC TREE FORT

Posted March 3, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , , , ,

My older kids loved the magic tree house books when they were beginning readers.  Now my youngest has started enjoying them as we take turns reading together.   The stories are always full of adventure and imagination.

I feel so lucky.  We have a magic tree fort in the back of our property.  My husband built the kids a tree fort when they were little in our lower yard, in an apple tree grove.  Unfortunately, the trees became diseased a few years ago and we had to cut them down.  There was sadness in not only saying good-bye to the trees, but the childhood memories that were made in that tree fort.   The kids were promised another tree fort and we managed to salvage most of the material. 

True to his word, my husband reinvented the tree fort last year up further on the property, in an old  pine tree.   As in life, sometimes change is good!  The new fort comes with a view of the river!   Like many of our projects around our house, it remains unfinished but it is done enough that the kids can climb up the temporary ladder and enjoy the magic of the fort.

Our magic tree fort
The new improved fort

This weekend my brother and his family came to visit.  The cousins always have a blast together, and the weather couldn’t be more beautiful (or unseasonal)!    It reached nearly sixty degrees when they were here, a perfect opportunity for everyone to hang out outside.   

Cade and his cousin headed right to the tree fort.  Soon, the tweens were up there as well.  I kept checking in on them, since things were so quiet and calm.  I figured something surely must be wrong!   However, it was just that they were busy.  Busy landscaping!  They were beautifying the property around the base of the fort, a million stories converging in their young minds as they were transported by their imagination.  Riley asked me to go up and check it out.

I gotta say, I was rather impressed!

Landscape of rocks and moss!

Each step I climbed on the ladder started to transport me.  To simpler times of dreams and imagination.  As the birds sang, the gentle breeze touched my skin and I felt sunshine on my face I realized the importance of the magic tree fort.   Time stands still.  I am whoever I want to be, not who I think I should be.  I can be anything, dream unbelievable dreams, be a kid again, uninhibited, without limits.   Don’t tell me kids, but I think I may just hang out in their tree fort a little each day to remind myself of possibilities!

Home sweet tree fort!

LIFE LESSON?   Every adult needs a magic tree fort.

My new “Meditation Station”

Comments: 3 Comments

TWEEN CHRONICLES: FACING THE MUSIC

Posted February 23, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , ,

When I had children I knew that they would be musicians. I just knew. It runs in their blood on my side of the family, and you can’t escape it even if you try.  Traditionally, we seem to come out screaming, and then we morph our screams into more organized musical chaos as we grow up, although at family reunions anything goes.

Read the rest of this entry at :  http://www.mamalode.com/2010/02/tween-chronicles-facing-the-music/

Comments: Be the first to comment

A Beary Warm Valentine

Posted February 14, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , , , ,

You aren’t going to believe this.  I wouldn’t if I hadn’t been there.  But it really happened!

The day started out hectic, as usual in our house.   Valentine’s Day with the kids.  My gift? A healthy heart by taking them skiing instead of loading them up with saturated fats and chocolate.   My husband ended up staying home, to work on the Trout Bungalow uninterrupted.  So that left me, a single mom of the three precious and precocious sweethearts ready to hit the hard slopes with a vengeance.   I was a little nervous about the day, I have to admit.  It takes coordination to get a squirmy six year old safely on a chairlift, and anyone who knows me knows that I tend to trip, run into doors and do otherwise less coordinated acts on a daily basis.  But, I digress.

We eased into  some slow, easy runs.  The sun had come out toward the end of our drive, and it was amazingly beautiful out.  At the top of the mountain the views of the snow capped Pintlar Mountains and Georgetown Lake took my breath away.   What a magnificent, special place!   After a few runs my oldest wanted to hit a few harder runs, and my daughter found a friend to ski with.  That left me and Cade, my six year old.   We decided to do a few runs we hadn’t been on and safely boarded the chairlift again. About halfway up the lift, a skier below hollered “BEAR”!  I shouted “are you serious”?  There was no answer, so I dismissed any thought of a bear during ski season.  Cade and I maneuvered down the slopes, and returned to the chair. By the time we got back to the lift, all the lifty’s were buzzing.  “Did you see the bear?  Look to your left after the dip in the  slope; in the trees”!   I couldn’t believe it.   Can you say GLOBAL WARMING?

So, we took the chair up again.  We had another single rider with us, a woman who said she was “over it” skiing, since she had been there yesterday, and really the snow wasn’t all that great.   But, halfway up the lift, we looked to our left.  Sure enough, hanging for dear life on the TOP of a Lodgepole Pine, was a great big black bear.   We all saw it simultaneously.  Cade of course, was really confused.   “I thought bears HIBERNATE in the winter”!   Ya, so did I.

However, that bear sure brought a lot of smiles.  The demeanor of the woman who was riding with us totally shifted.  People on the lifts were shouting back to the next chair to check out the bear!  People were warm and fuzzy, and smiling.

Yes, it may be a bad sign that we saw a bear today.   After all, it is only February!   But, what an unusual and extraordinary day it turned out to be.  The bear stayed put all afternoon, probably as confused as all of us.  I can only imagine the bear thinking “What the hell are those creatures that float beneath me!  No way I’m coming down”!  It was, however, amazing to see how it brought people out of their own private shell.  Sunshine, warmth, and bears.  What a fuzzy way to spend my Valentine’s Day!!

LIFE LESSON? The unexpected things in life sometimes turn out to be some of the most memorable!

Comments: 1 Comment

THE TWEEN CHRONICLES: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN AND WHAT NOW?

Posted February 9, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , , ,

Before I had children I had fantasies about what parenting would be like. I didn’t look much beyond the baby phase. I had some sort of unrealistic view that children didn’t really grow up. More seasoned mothers would warn: “This is such precious time and it goes way too fast, just enjoy it”. I turned a deaf ear to their advice, because I thought it didn’t pertain to me! READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE AT MAMALODE:

http://www.mamalode.com/2010/02/the-tween-chronicles-when-did-this-happen-and-what-now/

Comments: 1 Comment

RE-RUN: Marathon of the Mind

Posted February 3, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , , ,

This is one of the first posts I ever wrote, almost a year ago.   Since then I have started facilitating groups for persons  interested in running their first marathon.   I reflected the other day why I have been able to stick to running for five years now.   I believe it is because it takes me back to mindful living, moment by moment unfolding of the world with excitement and gratitude.   Why do you run?

When I was young, I used to run.  I don’t mean like casual run.  I mean I had an older brother who I admired tremendously that was a marathon runner and I wanted to be just like him.  So he trained me.  I ran short distances and long ones.  I ran fartleks…look that up if you don’t know what it means! I once got in big trouble because my dad couldn’t find me at 6 am when I was out on an early morning run! I trained for the Governors Cup, an annual race in Helena Montana.  I won first place in the 20k when I was just twelve.  Of course I was the only one in that age division…..but that doesn’t matter, does it?

Somewhere along the course of junior high and high school my definition of running changed.  I ran alright……wild!  Getting caught up in the politics of young life and acceptance I traded the running shoes for the party hat.

After high school I dabbled in running.  It was a casual relationship.  Sometimes I would go a month being a dedicated runner.   Sometimes there would be months of not running at all.  This reluctant relationship lasted for years, until after I turned thirty five.

It was then that the panic attacks struck.   As my healing journey began I started running again.   This time I committed to be a fully engaged runner.  I bought the shoes. I ran short, then a little longer.  I even ran a few fartleks!  Then somewhere in the distance that little girls voice from years ago remembered how much she loved to run.  The power of  subjecting my  body to the rigorous routine of running felt good.  No, it felt great!  I had a focus.  A goal.  My wonderful running buddy told me I could do it.  Yes, a marathon.

It was through sheer willpower and determination that I completed the training for my first marathon.  Something wonderful happened along that journey of achievement. I noticed things that I hadn’t noticed in years….raindrops on roses…whiskers on kittens…..Oh, wait a minute, not THAT! Seriously, I was reintroduced to the joy of moment by moment living through those long runs in the woods and on the road. What a gift.

Often times, when I need a little inspiration, I will pull out my first running journal.  I reflect on all the aliments and accomplishments I have incurred since I became a runner.  It is with this excitement that I tie up my shoe laces and hit the road, knowing that with each purposeful stride a new story will unfold.

Life Lesson? Life is about putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what the weather, and enjoying the awesome scenery of each new path you explore.

Comments: 1 Comment

BRACE YOURSELF!

Posted January 21, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , ,

My eleven year old daughter  had to get braces last fall.  She had the perfect ghoul mouth the previous October.  Her permanent cuspid teeth had come in, while her baby teeth were still holding on, creating a nice layered effect!   When the baby teeth finally came out, the adult teeth still stayed way high on her gum line, making it look as if she had fangs.

Before bracing up!

Hence the trip to meet our new orthodontist, designated to straighten her out for approximately eighteen months.  Fortunately, her jaw was fine, so she didn’t need any of those extras…just basic braces.  She got to pick the color of the bands.  I guess that is the hot new thing now.  Braces are now all about the bling.  Your bands can be hot pink, or the colors of your favorite sports team, or any combination of choices.  Who knew?   Anyway, she chose purple and pink to start the process.

The excitement lasted about twelve hours until the pain kicked in. The poor kid!  She couldn’t eat much of anything.  Her mouth just plain ached.  Remarkably, I noticed a difference in her teeth within twenty-four hours.   The two eye teeth had already shifted more into place.  However, permanent change takes time and patience.  After the initial shift slow and steady persistence will be imperative to making those other pearly whites stay in line.  As new band colors are chosen each month, Graces’ mouth is re-evaluated, minor adjustments are made, and discomfort ensues as her mouth concedes to the movement.

So sink your teeth into this tidbit: We, my friends, must be our own orthodontists. To flourish we have to brace ourselves. When there are areas of our life that are not in alignment with our beliefs and core values we cannot succeed.  So if you are struggling with your job, your health, or your finances, make that change!  You might see huge shifts initially, but after the “honeymoon” period just realize that habits don’t change unless you brace yourself for the long term commitment.   Recognize with each shift comes some discomfort, and that is nature letting you know that you are on the right track, because nothing lasting is ever easy.

Life Lesson? Brace up, realign slowly, and see your bling shine through!

Comments: 3 Comments

TWEENY CHALLENGES

Posted January 12, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , , , ,

Today started off as “one of THOSE days”.  The kind of morning that makes me want to crawl back into my bed and throw the covers over my head  in hopes of re-entering the fabulous city of dreamland.

It started immediately with bickering tweens. Having tweens is a challenge.  I have one that takes way too long to get ready for school, no matter what time I wake her up. She thrives on creativity and is easily distracted.  Then I have another who is usually up before anyone else, with bed made, clothes on, breakfast eaten and nervous energy about missing the bus.   Unfortunately, for the siblings this nervous energy results in bantering that usually ends up in a fight.

Such was this morning, when my oldest so lovingly tried to hurry the other two along because it was almost time to catch the bus.  My youngest son, at six years old, doesn’t appreciate the help.  His main goal in life right now is to be independent, and having older brother try to hurry him into his jacket and hat was a downright loss of dignity!

Finally out the door, I yelled an “I love you!” to all three, but the tweens were too busy arguing about how to maneuver the ice on the sidewalk that I just heard a tiny voice respond.  Ten minutes later they were home.  Apparently the bus driver drove right past them!   I ended up driving anyway, creating the perfect situation for an “I told you so” moment.

On the way to school the tweens were playing the blame game, with my oldest son trying so hard to sound intelligent while vacillating between the pitch of Michael Jackson and Johnny Cash! Ah, the joys of puberty! It was hard not to laugh, but I was just downright irritated by this point.   I told them all we were going to play the silent game until we got to school, because I was sick of the fighting.   You wouldn’t think it would be hard, with the school being only one mile away, but apparently it was a tall order!  My daughter said “this is boring!”  I said:  “Don’t insult yourself….if you say something is boring it means you aren’t being creative enough to entertain yourself….now: START AGAIN!”   Maybe, I mean MAYBE, twenty seconds went by when my oldest tween said with his oscillating voice: “Mom, is windshield wiper fluid bad for the environment?”

Now, I’m a reasonable mom, most the time!  On any normal occasion I would have gone into full explanation mode, but by then I was DONE!  I sunk to their level. “SILENCE!”  I barked.   “Mom, I just asked a question, why are you so mad?”  “I am NOT mad, son.  I just asked simply to have silence and you didn’t listen!  I am frustrated.”  By now I was very attached to being in control.   He had broken the rules of the game.  Listening to bickering for a full hour, having to be pulled from my morning coffee, driving to school with half my pajamas on as my glasses simultaneously were fogging up on the icy road added up to a great big state of temporary insanity. Yes, as you can see, I was being very reactive.  My son picked up on that, and went into full “you aren’t fair” mode when I said that I would have more chores for both of them after school.  He got out of the van door and slammed it during the ranting and raving.  No “I love you”, and no “Bye mom”.

That is how I started the day.  How would I redo it if I could?  Well, I think I would lighten up.  Perhaps add a little humor to their debate and admit to them that mom has a lot to learn too.  After all, I didn’t birth a tween, and even though there are books written on the subject, they don’t take into account the uniqueness of every one of my children, our family dynamics, and every situation that comes into play in our lives.

When my kids came home from school today, I made sure we had a laugh about it.  I didn’t give them more chores, but I did try to prove my point…for about a second.  Yes, I’m a mother of two tweens, and I’ll admit I have a long way to go.  I’m sure I will figure it out, perhaps in March, when my first teenager will be “born”.   Oh well! Life is just about reading a chapter at a time, savoring it, and appreciating the suspense of not knowing what may happen next.

Life Lesson? Don’t let tweeny challenges get in your way of being a good parent.

Comments: 3 Comments

THE BEST IN THE WORST

Posted January 8, 2010 by bigskylifecoach
Categories: Life Coach Tips
Tags: , , ,


Sometimes life slaps the bad stuff on people hard.  Like the feeling you get when you walk out of a warm house into bitter winter temperatures outside, biting you in the face with a mix of surprise, breathlessness, and piercing pain that envelopes you.   That harsh winter came to our little community the day after Christmas when a drunk driver ran into four local teenage girls, killing two and injuring two more.  There is no way to describe the horror that many of us felt as we heard the news.

How do you make sense of such a tragedy?  How does a community move forward when the lives of so many families are altered forever?   Unfortunately, it seems that in the news these days these questions are presented too often and have become way too familiar.  Something needs to shift on a small level and on a large level in our society for lasting changes to occur.

I will say, straight up, that I honestly don’t believe you can ever make sense of an accident of this magnitude, so I won’t even try to address that question.   But as far as a community moving forward, I think I have seen a glimpse of that answer.

Since that fateful night, the community has come together in amazing ways.  I have watched and observed remarkable human spirit, and heard many other stories of unbelievable generosity and kindness.    There was the memorial service in which a small church offered its help with serving food and the kitchen help had so many anonymous gifts of food and beverages from the community that they were able to deliver huge quantities to the local homeless shelter after serving 700 people!   There were so many people coming in to volunteer with ANYTHING, a teacher told me she finally gave some people Kleenex to hand out because they needed to be needed…to contribute in any way possible.

The four girls were all members of their freshman basketball team. The first basketball game after the accident took place with record breaking crowds to show support of the team and the families.  The cheerleaders sold pins during the event to raise money for the families.  Most incredible was the comments from one of the victims father at a gathering after the game, quoted as saying: “Don’t waste or misplace your anger”. Don’t dread Christmas of 2010, because he and his family won’t. “And I’d like to talk forgiveness and all it stands for, because I truly don’t believe you can ever overcome the grief without it.”

There was the silent auction and spaghetti feed in which droves of people donated items, big and small.   As you find so many times in life, the people who had the least to give donated what they had, and the feelings of community were overwhelming to anyone walking in the door of the gym.

So in a time of sorrow, grief, confusion, and sometimes anger for many, the basic human nature of love is shining through, breaking up the bitterness of the cold winter wind.  It has been said that the dew of compassion is a tear (Lord Byron).  As this small community sheds collective tears I can only hope that compassion will help heal.  Watching the events unfold I have seen and believe in the power of community, love, and the best in people at the worst of times.   But yet another part of me asks this question:  Why does it take tragedy to unlock the type of compassion we should be practicing every day?

LIFE LESSON?  Plain and simple:  PLEASE don’t drink and drive.

Bertrand Russell:

Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.

adapted

Comments: 1 Comment

« Older Entries